No, PI does NOT stand for Private Investigator. PI stands for the Philippine Islands, i.e. the archipelago southwest of Japan, the archipelago that I currently inhabit. It is also my ancestral home, my birthplace, my homeland. It is the place of my dreams, not memories, because I was too young to form any that remain. It's an odd thing...to see photos of yourself in a place and have no recollection of it or having ever been there. You have to take others' word. You take it on hearsay.
Pin suggested that Katy, Stacey, Brian, he and I go somewhere for spring break. One of the possibilities being the PI. I think that I've either been underestimating or just not realizing how much of an effect going to the PI might have on me. Honestly, it wasn't until Pin mentioned it last night that I remembered that it WOULD be my first time back...and I might not be ready to do that with a group of friends. I think I've been so focused on how my mom and family would react, that I didn't bother to think about how I would.
I think I would feel, and even though I know that he and the rest of them would tell me that I don't have to feel thus, responsible for everyone. Not just responsible because I can understand what people say when they're not speaking in English, but responsible for making sure everyone has a good time, because it IS my country. I don't know if I'm ready for that, especially never having been there since I left. I'd feel as much a stranger as they would, but I'd feel obligated not to be.
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