Seattle...Is It Still Home?: Retroactive Post

Oh god, is this really my last day in Japan of the year? Am I really getting on a plane tomorrow and heading back to Seattle? Will I really be home by the end of the week? I'm afraid that the answer to all of those questions is yes.

I don't feel ready at all. At least this year, I got my packing out of the way and the only thing left to do is clean up my house tonight after my private lesson. Physically, I'm in better shape than last year, but emotionally, I'm more of a mess.

This Week Gets Even Better...Not: Retroactive Post

So what the hell, is this my punishment for trying to enjoy Christmas? This year is the first when I actually haven't HATED Christmas, where I was actually looking forward to things and God seems to want to remind me that things are not all peachy-keen. First, it was the poor little stray kitten yesterday during lunchtime. Then it was the back-to-back-to-back announcements about one of my teacher's mother-in-laws passing away, one of my vice-principals being in the hospital, and other of my other teacher's fathers passing away...all in two days.

Then, as if to remind me of my powerlessness in certain situations, as I'm leaving one of the tiny little mom-and-pop-run grocery stores on the way home from school, another stray, this one a dog, comes up and tries begging me for food. Unfortunately, I had only bought spinach, eggplant and bamboo...not really anything suitable for a dog. I definitely couldn't take in a nearly full-grown dog, after the kitten earlier in the week, but I have to say, walking away from yet another stray really sucks. It breaks my heart that I can't do more for it.

I guess the reason why I suggest that all of this is pointed directly at me, to remind me to have a crappy time around this time of the year, is that, I've gone nearly a year without running into a stray, and now to have it happen right after another, along with the human situations...I'm nearly giving in and resigning myself to another crappy holiday season. Gah. Santa, all I want for Christmas is some peace of mind...is that too hard to ask?

So When Does the Ball Drop?: Retroactive Post

This morning during second period, one of my JTEs (a pretty close one, since she is always helping Luther and me with various Japan/school-life issues) left in a hurry from school. I was on my way up to the LL to prep for my third period class, and caught up with her in the hallway. She was upset about something and soon explained the reason why. She had gotten a call from her family and found out that her father just passed away unexpectedly. Now, she is middle-aged, so it's not like her father was very young, but there was apparently no reason to suggest that he was sick or anything. She didn't know the cause of death, so I have no clue either.

This comes on the heels of two announcements during the morning meetings with bad news. The first one on Monday was accompanied by my former JTE/supervisor coming up to the middle of the teachers room, bowing and obviously very upset about something. I couldn't catch what he said, I thought I heard "musume," which is Japanese for daughter, but I wasn't sure what exactly happened. I didn't get a chance to ask about it until the next day, after hearing another disturbing announcement about one of my vice-principals.

This one, I managed to catch the words, "hospital," "sick," and "gone until next week." Actually, I verified with the teacher whose father just passed away, my suspicions that our VP was in the hospital. Our principal said that he couldn't say exactly why she was hospitalized, but that she will be undergoing surgery tomorrow. She also clarified that my other teacher's mother-in-law had passed away, which was he was upset and hence the announcement on Monday.

Obviously, all of this sucks for the people involved. I can't imagine what they are all going through, but I can't help but think about my own situation with my father. Especially after one of my other JTEs and I were talking about what was going on and she asked me to take care of my health...Little does she (or any of the other teachers, except for Luther, for that matter) know (since I haven't mentioned it to anyone), that it's not MY health that I'm worried about.

I've managed to keep thoughts of my dad, his health and his lifespan at bay, since I know that I can't really do anything until I'm home, but all of this is just a bit too familiar. I know that at least, unlike my poor teacher, I do have a heads-up of his health but that doesn't really help. Especially since I keep wondering, when's the ball going to drop and if I'm going to be the next person to have to make an announcement at a morning meeting.

Ah, Pets...: Retroactive Post

Lord, it's been a while...

Anyway today I just had to write about my run-in with an adorable little stray. Luther and I were leaving the school to go out to lunch at the Chinese guy's AKA Mr. Wong's (though that isn't even it's real name), which is a pretty rare occasion these days, when we hear a mewing noise coming from near the entrance of the school. We make a quick turn on our bikes and see a tiny little grayish-cream kitten meowing its heart out next to one of the pillars at the front of the school.

We stop and pet it briefly, but even that short bit of attention seemed to have endeared us to him/her because when we went to leave, it started following us. I tried to bike, but it wasn't deterred. We couldn't take it with us in our bike baskets, and we were afraid that if we let it follow us, it might get run over by a car on the street. Eventually Luther had to pick it up and let me get a head-start on my bike, drop it off near the bushes at the entrance and then try to make his own getaway. Even so, the poor thing managed to get back to the sidewalk and we had no choice but to leave the thing staring at us in despondence.

I decided to get an extra order of gyozas for takeout and bring some back for the poor thing in case it was still wandering around. We got back to school and heard it mewing near the bus stop. Luther didn't think it was old enough to eat solid food, but after I managed to get it near enough to the gyoza filling that I had taken out of its wrapper, it ate it up. I left it another one and then we decided we had to go...

I didn't know what else I could do for it, especially since I: 1) don't know if I'm even allowed to keep a pet at my apartment, 2) don't know a thing about raising a cat and 3) will be leaving for America in a little over a week. Still, it would've been nice to finally have a pet.

Anyway, where-ever you are little nekko-chan, I hope you stay safe and find a good home.

All I can say is OH MY GOD!: Retroactive Post

10 Questions

We are what we eat?: Retroactive Post

So, maybe it's not as world-altering as the US declaring independence from British rule, but it's altering my world. Albert came across a really good Time (the Asian version) issue last month and wanted me to read it. As I was busy taking care of lots of other things at the time, I stubbornly told him I'd read it later, so he stubbornly refused to read it before me and instead just passed it on. However, he managed to find it again, and since it's testing week, all I have to do at work is be here, help answer grading questions and help mark tests, so I decided that today would be a good time to read it.

The reason he wanted me to read it was because it was all about food and its connections with the world we live in now, and what it might signify for our future. I was in the midst of reading the fourth article, when I had an epiphanic moment as to what my trip to Hong Kong would be like, which soon extended into how I want to spend the rest of my time in Japan. The article was discussing Mark Brownstein, aka The Food Hunter, and how his knowledge of Asia ingredients is sparking a growth of interest among German and French chefs. Reading the sentence, "The big French chefs, too, are just getting their heads around Asia," made me realize that if I want to go to France and study French cuisine, it is to my advantange to exploit my personal experience with Asian culture and cuisines.

Thus, I've decided to change my itinerary in Hong Kong from eating at posh fusion restaurants like M at the Fringe and Pierre Gagnaire's Pierre, to eating the local Cantonese and Macanese specialties, like the egg tarts and dim sum that I've heard so much about from Albert. I want to get the true taste of Hong Kong, to understand it's cooking as much as I can in the three days I have there.

This further led me to apply this to my time in Japan, and instead of spending my money eating out at expensive Western restaurants or cooking it at home, I want to learn what I can about Japanese cooking, and save my money to take trips to other Asian countries and learn about their cuisines in that way. I hope that developing a strong foundation in Japanese cooking, as well as a broader knowledge of Asian cooking, in addition to my personal knowknowledge of Filipino cooking will help differentiate me as a culinary arts student and later on as a chef. Now, I've got to see if I can curb my hedonistic tendencies to achieve my goals. Wish me luck, ne?

Paris, Je T'aime: Retroactive Post

Today I hurried home and prepared the different layers for the vegetarian lasagne I was making for tomorrow, so that I could catch the train to Shiz and watch a movie that Albert had told me about. Albert had heard about it from Bradford, who had seen it last week. He told me about it because it was a French movie showing in Shiz city and as such, figured I'd be interested.

I knew nothing about it, so a visit to its Wiki entry and the theater's website was in order. I was pleasantly surprised to find that one of my favorite actresses, Natalie Portman was in it, along with a medley of other actors. So, I decided to catch the 7pm showing, no matter the state of my household. I went and managed to find it fairly easily, sat down and prepared to watch yet another film in French with subtitles I couldn't understand, because this was Japan and not the US. There were points in the movie where I looked to the Japanese for help with the French, but after a while, I forgot about them.

The movie is actually a compilation of 18 short films set in 18 of the 20 arrondissements of Paris, focusing on what else but love in the city of Amour? But not simply love in the fashion of the next Hollywood romantic comedy (or love-com as the Japanese call it), though there was certainly some of that. Rather, it focused on love in its myriad forms, sometimes tragic, sometimes uplifting, sometimes disappointing, joyful, heart-breaking, as complex as a decades-long marriage or as simple as a haircut. And all of this is reflected in the city as well.

Albert is right in telling me that I need to learn as much about France, French and Paris as I can before I go there, in order to avoid the jarring pain of the real Paris as it meets the Paris of my dreams, thoughts and heart. But seeing this movie made me feel like the character in the last story, a fellow American with a terrible accent writing in French that she loves Paris and hopes that it will love her back.

At one point in the movie, I was nearly overwhelmed with a sense of loneliness, felt more keenly perhaps because I had spoken to Travis this morning and had been wishing for some company, especially his, during the movie. But by the end of it, I felt better for having seen it alone. It allowed me to engross myself in the movie, in Paris, that by the time I left the theater, I felt a different kind of culture-shock. With my head swimming with French and thoughts of a foreign country, I had to deal with the reality that I WAS in a foreign country, just not the one I had been looking at.

All of a sudden, I had to remember I was in Japan, not Seattle; that this wasn't my city, my country, my home. But then I realized that while Seattle no longer feels that way and that Japan feels more and more comfortable with the passing months, it's still not quite right. But I ask myself, Will France be any different? Or will I feel the way about France as I do Japan once I move after living here for at least a few years? Will any place ever feel 'Right' again, or is that something I've given up in exchange for the novelty of travel?

I guess we'll see. But for now, Paris, je t'aime.

Down in Kansai...:Retroactive Post

As we ride on the bus on the way to Akiyoshidai, I am stuck with a feeling of wonder and contentment of living in Japan. I look to the the mountains that are so different from the ones of my home - lush and full of bamboo and sakura, decidedly deciduous instead of rocky and full of the firs and pines that give Washington its name: the Evergreen State, and I realize that there really is so much beauty here, beauty of a different nature than what one finds in America. America staggers you with size and grandeur; Japan presents you with peace on a smaller scale. There is so much in this little island nation- such diversity from the snows of Hokkaido to the tropics of Okinawa and everything in between. There is so much to see and experience.

This thought makes me want to stay in Japan for another year. At first, this idea seemed scary, that I wouldn't be seeing enough of the world, during my time in it, but I've realized how easily it is to open your heart to this country and how firmly it wedges itself there. I don't think I'd be able to stay for more than 3 years at my age, simply because I truly need to go to Europe, but the idea that I could be 26 when I move to France, hopefully capable of speaking not only that language, but Japanese after having lived here for 3 years is incredibly appealing. I don't want to go home, not when Seattle no longer feels that way...

Highlights of my spring break trip:
Crazy time spent looking for an ATM and missing Sean and Imran 4 times on trains
Bus-ride to Miyajima and the ferry-ride to the island, deer, low-tide, miso-dango
Nice hotel room in Hiroshima with a corner view
Eating okonomiyaki in Okonomimura and dress-up purikura
Hiroshima Atomic Bomb Museum
White-snake observatory and sakura
Akidoshidai and Akiyoshido

Houseguests: Retroactive Post

So, I've realized that I kinda suck at playing tourguide, but luckily, my friends are forgiving and we still managed to have fun this weekend, despite crappy weather, getting a bit lost, getting on the wrong train and bus and missing the last buses. Anyway, this past weekend, Chika came from Nagoya and Branden, a fellow Seattle JET, came from Chiba-ken to visit me.

They both got in late Friday night, we stayed up catching up and begining L'Auberge Espagnole. I made breakfast on Saturday and introduced them to Albert, then we headed out to Shizuoka to go to Nihondaira. Unfortunately, it started to rain, and then we missed the bus, so we stopped to check out the new Parco (a department store) that just opened, ran into some of my students and then caught the next bus. Unfortunately, we soon realized that that bus was not only the last bus going TO Nihondaira, but it was the last one coming FROM it as well. So, we had to get off the bus at the next train station and go to Shimizu instead.

We barely caught the shuttle to Dream Plaza and spent the afternoon hanging out there, then met up with Sean and Rebecca for yaki-niku at this restaurant next to the station. This is of course followed by drinks at the Hippy Shake, where they got to meet the infamous Taka-san and have a couple tequila shots with him. We catch the last train back to Shin-Kambara, pick up a bottle of tequila at Max-Valu and continue with the shots back at my house, since they insisted that I must drink more. Albert joins us drunken fools until we all pass out while watching more L'Auberge Espagnole.

Sunday, I manage to wake up and make another breakfast and then Chika, Branden and I head over to Okitsu to check out Seikenji (a Buddhist temple). It was really different being there because it was one of the first temples that I had been to where there was no one else there, so it felt more like a temple than other ones that I've been to. There weren't a ton of tourists snapping pictures or kids running all over the place. It felt serene. After that, we tried to go to other temples but most of them close around 5, so instead we went to Kenkoland, which is an onsen, like Utopia in Nagoya, which I've described in an earlier blog. It was really relaxing with all of the different baths and massage chairs, and I even managed to get them to try the fish that eat the dead skin on your feet! Then we headed home and fell asleep.

Monday, I headed in to work, and then showed Branden and Chika around my school in the morning. Afterwards, I took the afternoon off and we went to the seawall to look at Fuji-san and the water. We took the train to Kusanagi and had lunch at this cute restaurant out on the veranda in the sun. Branden headed home and Chika took the train to Shimizu once again, and caught a bus to Miho. Miho is a black sand beach, that is the site of a pine tree in a famous Japanese folktale, Hagaromo no matsu, and managed to get a pretty good view of Fuji-san from there as well. We mostly just chilled out on the beach and then headed back to Kusanagi station where we parted ways.

All in all, an excellent weekend with the company of two good friends here in Japan. They reminded me that there are tons of cool things to see in my area, if I just look for them off the beaten path. So, to Branden and Chika, ??????????!????????! HOUSEGUESTS ALBUM

J'aime mes étudiants: Retroactive Post

I had a sorta crappy day at work yesterday, mostly because I had my last class with 25HR for the school year, but rather than feeling a sense of closure, it felt anti-climactic, disingenuous, and ultimately unsatisfying. But today more than made up for it, when I got back my ninensei students' last assignments. I had wanted them to either write an essay in English or make a poster about their reflections and memories of this last school year and their goals for the next one, and they just blew me away. Sure, the English isn't perfect, but these kids are absolutely amazing. It makes me happy to know that I'm was their teacher. Now, on to the next set of kids...

International Thoughts: Retroactive post from LiveJournal

Prompted by reading Time, BBC, IHT, and NY Times articles for the last few days, I've been struck by a few differences between America and the rest of the world. I'll preface this by saying that I've only recently moved from the US, and while I wouldn't say that I'm anti-American, I've realized that it is not the place I plan nor even want to live for the next big chunk of my life.

So today, I read a few articles about the economic growth of certain Chinese cities and the dissatisfaction that many Japanese people feel despite the economic growth in it's country. They reminded me of the shortcomings of capitalism in creating happy citizens, something that I've read time and time again. I think another ideological battle is due in the future, it doesn't surprise me Islam is growing at the rate that it is. People are looking for other alternatives for their lifestyles.

I'm not saying that I don't participate in the capitalist cycle, just saying that it makes me want to be more aware and active in making a change. The other thing that struck me was that in America, we focus so much on one another's race, even if it is in a positive sense, whereas in other countries like China for instance, the emphasis is placed on wealth. The more material wealth you display determines how people behave and react around you. Obviously this makes sense, because the level of ethnic diversity is much greater in the US than in countries like China or Japan.

Anyway, not necessarily sure how I feel about that, just thought it was something to note.

My Book Recommendation: Retroactive Post

So today, I caught a glimpse of this headline in the NY Times: "Not Enough Snow for You? Do-it-yourselfers with snow machines are taking the weather into their own hands." and immediately thought of Ishmael, a book I've reread several times in the last seven years. If you've never read it, here's a link to a good review of it. Ishmael Review. Once you read it, you'll understand exactly why this headline made me think of it.

I guess I'm writing this because I'm worried about the state of things in the world. This headline might not seem like a big deal, except that you link it to the obvious changes in the weather patterns all around the world due to increased global warming and you realize that we're buying into the 'myth.' Luckily articles about how the EU is pushing to make cars reduce their carbon emissions and incentives for being Hybrid car owners show that of us are starting to wake up and decide that they want to change. Anyway, I don't want to sound like I'm preaching, just taking note that sometimes we need to reassess our priorities every once in a while. And if you're interested, here's a great book to read in your spare time.

My Love City: Retroactive Post

God, I love being in Nagoya. I came here yesterday right from work and the minute that I got onto the platform at Nagoya station, I could feel this overwhelming sense of relief pass through my body. Like this is where I belong. It's like that every time I go back. I thought that that would be how I felt when I went back to Seattle this Christmas break, but I didn't. I guess that reinforces my recent realization that Seattle no longer feels like home. I mean, don't get me wrong, I still love that city and being with my friends and family is awesome, but it's no longer the same. I don't see it with the same eyes anymore. It just makes it easier to decide to move to Europe after this.

Anyway, I came out here because I wanted to see Chika before she heads out to Europe tomorrow morning for a month, but I now, I feel like I wish I hadn't, because it shows me just how much I love being here. Everything is familar in the way that Seattle is, but it's also still very foreign. Add to that that not only is one of my best friends here, but my aunt and uncle. Tonight, we had dinner and were drinking together with some of their friends, and it felt just like hanging out with my own friends at my house. I really love my Tita Elvie and Otosan. It almost makes me regret signing my contract for another year. I wish I could spend more time here than just a couple days at a time. I would give anything to be able to live in this city for another few months.

*Sigh* Oh well, the world changes and you've just got to roll with the punches, right? Here's to the future...

Addendum: Retroactive Post

So yesterday, I decided on my new goal for life after JET. I'm going to try to move to France and Italy. I've wanted to go probably since I was old enough to read about them, and now that I realized how much traveling means to me and that I can handle living in a foreign country, I think I'm ready to commit myself to it. So now I have a year and a half to prepare myself.

I think I'm going to try to get my CELTA certification while I'm in Japan, so in order to aid me in the job search there. It's apparently very well respected in Europe, and also by then, I'll have had two years of secondary education teaching experience. I'm going to have to brush up on my French, and start saving up my money. Whew, I can't believe I decided this less than 24 hours ago. I'm excited. This'll give me direction for the rest of my time here. Okay. Let's see how this pans out.

Plans: Retroactive Post

Ever since Albert got back from Canada, he's been on this food kick, I think in good part fueled by my own interests in cooking. He's been trying to perfect this Uighur recipe, and is compulsively watching episodes of Chef. As a result, and aided by my renewing dinner parties at my house, I've found just how important it is to me to cook for other people. I feel like I'm just biding my time until I give in and go to culinary arts school like I've been dreaming about in the back of my head.

I really want to open up a dimsum restaurant in Japan. I have no idea how to make any of it, but I think that it'd be really profitable and I could use that profit to open up a restaurant of my own cooking. I need to find a business partner, someone that would be good at handling the money and legal side of things, because god knows I could care less about that. Ha, it's funny to think of myself as an artist, but that's just the type of attitude I would expect from one about anything other than their chosen art form.

An example of one of my dinner party meals:

Goodbye Emerald City: Retroactive Post

So I'm back in Japan for the third time in the last year. Every time I've come back, it's been different. This time, I've come home. Not because this necessarily feels more like home than Seattle or Nagoya did, but because it has to be. It's going to be my home for the next year and a half. Before I left for Seattle, that thought really chafed. The thought of being stuck in a tiny little town was so different from living in a big city where everything was new.

Now that I'm back, I realize that it's not as bad as I thought it would be. Decent weather really helps with that. I told a good friend the night after I went out with everyone to Kona Kitchen, that I finally felt like I was ready to go back. I had said my goodbyes and all that was left was my parent's anniversary, packing and the trip back. I'm still trying to feel like I'm ready to BE back, but it gets easier and easier with each passing day.

That said, it surprises me how long ago being in Seattle feels, when it has only been a week. At the same time, it feels like life was just on pause here while I left and that my time in Seattle didn't really happen. Albert was right, it does feel like a dream. I keep trying to go back every once in a while, but it gets harder and harder to remember the details the more I wake up.