The End...

Unfortunately, no happily ever after involved.

I finally did it. Or I guess we finally did. What you may ask? The other big milestone in a relationship, after the L-word and the engagement leading to that happily-ever-after: the breakup.

It happened a few weeks ago. It was pretty good as far as those things go: no recriminations, no bad feelings. We simply realized that we weren't getting what we needed from one another and that if we were to stay in it longer, the good will we had for each other would deteriorate into frustration and resentment, if not worse.

So, we ended on a good note, and we're still 'friends'. Though I am relieved that one of the benefits of having a long-distance relationship is that now, we won't accidentally run into one another on the street. As things stand, we don't have plans to see one another until August for a concert.

I've broken down a few times, but usually I'm fine. I don't know if it's because I'm blocking it out, living in denial because I don't have to deal with it. I don't have to see him. I've definitely been acting out afterward, but in a much healthier way than I used to previously. No making out with random boys, just starting violin lessons and going to badminton every week.

I still have feelings for him, but I know that it would be pointless to try to get back together, at least not while the situation remains the same: living hours and prefectures apart. Who knows what might happen in the future? Maybe we'll end up living together in France, maybe we'll end up together after all. But it's a future I'm not holding my breath for. Rather, I take one breath after another with each subsequent day helping to heal my bruised, but not broken heart.