Decisions

Today, I had the first of my ichi-nensei classes for the week. We were continuing the New Year's Resolution/Occupations chapter we began last class. I decided to combine the resolutions with a time capsule by having them reflect on important events of 2008 in the world and their lives, 3 resolutions about different things and lastly what they want to be doing when they're 20, 30 and 70 years old. They'd put them in envelopes and address them to themselves. Then, in either 6 months or a year, I'd give them back to them, depending on if I re-contracted or not.

It was an idea that I adapted from an activity that my JET Program coordinator had us do during our Seattle pre-departure orientation. She had us write down our goals and reasons for going to Japan, address it to ourselves and then promise to not open it until February (about 6 months later and halfway through our contract). She did this because she had been on JET and she knew that that time is one of the most difficult, primarily because of the cold weather and secondly because you're at one of the lowest points of the culture shock cycle. She wanted us to wait to open it until then so that we'd be reminded of why we came to Japan and to check our progress in accomplishing the goals we'd made.

Needless to say, it made quite an impression on me. So I modified it for my kids. It had an unintended consequence on me however. As I said, I was undecided as to whether to stay for a fourth year or not, and would either return the letters to my students before I left in July/August, or a year from now. This morning when we were explaining the activity to the students, I felt like I needed to give them a concrete timeframe for when I'd return it, and right then and there, I told them I'd give it back to them a year from now.

Right after I said it, I thought, Shit, I said it out loud. But then I thought, well, wasn't it just two days ago when I was walking back from the train station that I felt happy and content with everything in my life? I know that I could take it back, after all they probably won't remember it a year from now, much less in a month. Maybe it's naíve that I would hold myself to such a flimsy deadline, but maybe a promise to my students is more binding than one given to anyone else.