Tense

The mood in the school, seemingly normal and status quo, tightens perceptibly as I speak to the the san-nensei. While the rest of the students seem to be relaxing as they hit the home stretch of their first and second years at Ihara, the third years (and their teachers) are dissolving into a ball of nerves and tension over their fates and futures. The talks with their homeroom teachers become more frequent as they take and prepare for one university's exam after the next.

This being my third year, I've seen and experienced it to some degree with the students that have graduated before, but this year, this is my babies' year. My favored 35HR, whom I will always still think of as 15HR. I know that as a teacher, you're not supposed to have favorites, but this class, this is the one that I felt I grew up with. They were the first Japanese students I met and taught.

I still remember how nervous I was as I headed up to the mountains of Yamanashi-ken for our English Summer Camp. I'd been in Japan less than a month and my mind was still adjusting to the NEWNESS of it all, and trying to grasp that I was A TEACHER. I didn't feel like I was. I certainly didn't think of myself as one. But my students made me feel at ease and I immediately welcomed them into my life, my heart.

It feels a bit odd to not be leaving the school with them. I feel that I've learned and struggled in my time at Ihara right along with them. Watching them grow up, grow older, GROW has been one of the most defining things in my experience at Ihara. It is with great sadness that I will watch them leave, but also with great pride and belief in them and their bright futures.

My one consolation for staying behind is that, as graduates, I can more freely hang out with them out of the strict confines of high school. I hope that some of them at least remember me; I know I will never forget them.