Pin likes to tease me about growing up in Seattle and wonders how I'm still alive, because "doesn't everyone kill themselves in the winter?" This year, I spend most of my time with friends from the warm, sunny places of the US: California, Florida, Hawaii. It was with not unreasonable envy that I looked over their photos from Christmas break and saw sunny, clear blue skies, while I sat stuck indoors because of a foot or more of snow. But that was freak cold weather, at least for Seattle.
The last few weeks though have presented me with the cold, gray, overcast/rainy days that I come to expect from the winter season. The days I was familiar with. The ones of my childhood.
Today was another such day. It assailed me with an overpowering sense of homesickness. Or maybe not homesickness as much as Pat-sickness. I was looking through my photos and I saw some from Christmas '07 and then ones from this past Christmas. I can't believe how quickly the time between them passed. All those missed months, moments, memories...
I know that it's my choice to stay out here, and that it will continue to remain my choice to stay away, but sometimes it sucks. It sucks that my best friend is half the world away and that I talk to him infrequently at best. It sucks that he isn't here to see all the things that make up my life in Japan, or meet the people that populate it. That we can't go out for a cup of coffee or a drink as our ritual and share our troubles with life and love.
But, ever-the-optimist, I search for the silver lining, no matter how elusive it is, especially in clouds as slate-grey as the ones outside. I have hope that our friendship is stronger than the accumulated experiences we share; that we remain connected despite the distance; that we are more than the sum of our parts.
I guess that's the answer to Pin's question. What else would it be but Hope?
Showing posts with label Seattle. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Seattle. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Friday, June 13, 2008
Summer in the City: Retroactive Post
Wow, I can't believe that I finally get to spend some summertime in the city of my childhood, after deploring how I only get to visit it at the worst time of the year, weather-wise. Unfortunately, I guess I should've checked the weather forecast before I headed out here, since it was cold and showering when I got in a couple of days ago...rain, in Seattle...Go figure. I think what surprised me was less that it was showering, because it's been showering on and off in Shiz for the last month, but that it's COLD here. That and I was coming from Gunma, where, at 5,000ft about sea level, the daytime was clear, blue and quite sunny.
Tonight was the first time I got to go out into the city since I've been back, and of course, who did I go with, but my partner in crime Patrick. We headed over to Bahama Breeze in Southcenter after he got off work in the evening and had a Caribbean dinner of habanero-spiced chicken wings and filet mignon for me and Jerk-rubbed chicken breast for Pat. It was SOOO good to have food that was flavorful, spicy and fruity in a way that you can only find in tropical island cuisine. That and the authentic mojito I had along with dinner was a perfect start to a cool summer evening.
We then drove up to our favorite late-night cafe, the B&O. I've made it a point to stop off there every time I'm in town. This time we had kahlua-spiked mochas and I indulged in some chocolate-y, liquered mousse for dessert. The rest of the time, we spent catching up about what's been going on in each of our lives, and some of the people in them. For me, Travis of course, as well as Luther, JTEs and other ALT friends.
I told Pat that Seattle's best feature and what I love and miss most about it is that, when I go back, it's not like Luther going back to Minnesota: I'm not just met with white people. I go to Seattle and I see, especially coming from southern Seattle, people of all different ethnicities and nationalities. I see people of black, Asian, Latin American, Native American descent, mixed in with all the Caucasians, not to mention all the people that are halfs, quarters, etc... it's great to see so many people of different cultural backgrounds in the same place.
I've forgotten that everywhere is not like Japan. You don't just have a homogenous society in which everyone else that's not Japanese is just a 'gaijin', foreigner. But like I also told Patrick, while I love Seattle still and would love to live here, I don't want to live in America, and unfortunately living in Seattle would constitute living in America, which is something that I'm not prepared to do yet.
Pat and I talked about all the traveling we might be doing over the next year and in the future: him coming out to visit me in Japan; going to the PI with Chris and Char, though later talking about the possibility of going to the UK instead; Huong and him moving out to Spain or somewhere in Europe; Travis and I eventually following suit in France, and maybe at some later stage, going across the Atlantic and checking out life in the Big Apple.
I'm not yet 25, and I know that I have so much more of my life ahead of me, but the thought of cutting my time short in Japan, cutting the life that encourages me to stay young and (maybe a bit irresponsible) un-rooted and free, in turn cuts me to the core.
I think I've realized one thing over the last couple of days that's made me take a look at why I've been so determined to keep my being in town a secret: not only do I not want to get into the details about my dad with people, but I don't want to be place myself in the situation where I'm with people that won't understand me making comparisons between Japan and America, between Shizuoka and Seattle. In some ways, maybe that's why I don't talk to my sister as much over the last couple of visits. Maybe I'm starting to realize that what annoys me about Americans in Japan saying they want certain things in Japan the way that they would get them if they were in America, might be the way that I talk about Japan while I'm here.
I think I'll make more of a point to be quieter about them. Though the big difference is that, I know that if I had a choice I would go back. I'd head back to Japan in a split-second and that's what ultimately makes me different from the people that complain that it's not like that where they're from, but continue to stay.
Tonight was the first time I got to go out into the city since I've been back, and of course, who did I go with, but my partner in crime Patrick. We headed over to Bahama Breeze in Southcenter after he got off work in the evening and had a Caribbean dinner of habanero-spiced chicken wings and filet mignon for me and Jerk-rubbed chicken breast for Pat. It was SOOO good to have food that was flavorful, spicy and fruity in a way that you can only find in tropical island cuisine. That and the authentic mojito I had along with dinner was a perfect start to a cool summer evening.
We then drove up to our favorite late-night cafe, the B&O. I've made it a point to stop off there every time I'm in town. This time we had kahlua-spiked mochas and I indulged in some chocolate-y, liquered mousse for dessert. The rest of the time, we spent catching up about what's been going on in each of our lives, and some of the people in them. For me, Travis of course, as well as Luther, JTEs and other ALT friends.
I told Pat that Seattle's best feature and what I love and miss most about it is that, when I go back, it's not like Luther going back to Minnesota: I'm not just met with white people. I go to Seattle and I see, especially coming from southern Seattle, people of all different ethnicities and nationalities. I see people of black, Asian, Latin American, Native American descent, mixed in with all the Caucasians, not to mention all the people that are halfs, quarters, etc... it's great to see so many people of different cultural backgrounds in the same place.
I've forgotten that everywhere is not like Japan. You don't just have a homogenous society in which everyone else that's not Japanese is just a 'gaijin', foreigner. But like I also told Patrick, while I love Seattle still and would love to live here, I don't want to live in America, and unfortunately living in Seattle would constitute living in America, which is something that I'm not prepared to do yet.
Pat and I talked about all the traveling we might be doing over the next year and in the future: him coming out to visit me in Japan; going to the PI with Chris and Char, though later talking about the possibility of going to the UK instead; Huong and him moving out to Spain or somewhere in Europe; Travis and I eventually following suit in France, and maybe at some later stage, going across the Atlantic and checking out life in the Big Apple.
I'm not yet 25, and I know that I have so much more of my life ahead of me, but the thought of cutting my time short in Japan, cutting the life that encourages me to stay young and (maybe a bit irresponsible) un-rooted and free, in turn cuts me to the core.
I think I've realized one thing over the last couple of days that's made me take a look at why I've been so determined to keep my being in town a secret: not only do I not want to get into the details about my dad with people, but I don't want to be place myself in the situation where I'm with people that won't understand me making comparisons between Japan and America, between Shizuoka and Seattle. In some ways, maybe that's why I don't talk to my sister as much over the last couple of visits. Maybe I'm starting to realize that what annoys me about Americans in Japan saying they want certain things in Japan the way that they would get them if they were in America, might be the way that I talk about Japan while I'm here.
I think I'll make more of a point to be quieter about them. Though the big difference is that, I know that if I had a choice I would go back. I'd head back to Japan in a split-second and that's what ultimately makes me different from the people that complain that it's not like that where they're from, but continue to stay.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Mid-Winter Blues: Retroactive Post
Maybe it's something about the snow, or the cold, or wanting to stay in and revel in the warmth...but winter, a real winter, seems to bring out an overwhelming sense of nostalgia and the need to reminisce, and of course following that line of thinking in time and inevitably wondering about the future. Leaving Sapporo yesterday morning, I was struck by that sense of natsukashii (nostalgia) as we made our way via train of course, from Sapporo station to Chitose airport. Looking out over land, trees, houses, cars, everything until the horizon, covered in snow, I couldn't help but remember the only other time in my life when I spent a winter like that.
It was when I was interning at the legislature and living down in Olympia. It was my first time living away from my family, and I was renting a room out of this woman's house, along with two other UW Asian girls, Sunny and Mary. Our landlady was awesome, our rent was really cheap and she pretty much let us have the run of the house. Sunny and Mary were great roommates, we got along on pretty much everything including a requisite love of good cheese, though they did force me from the kitchen the mornings that they made their tuna-fish sandwiches...
My family helped me move my stuff down earlier in the day, and then Sunny arrived in the afternoon. We had a fun time trekking to the capitol in our landlady's sons' old-school snow pants, as we were petite Asian girls and they were tall, tall boys. Mary arrived the next day and by then, there was lots of snow already on the ground. I remember our mornings checking how our outfits looked with one another and trading clothes or shoes when necessary. I also remember staying up late into the night with them making frosting and cookies from scratch to make heart-shaped cookie sandwiches to give out to people all over the campus for Valentine's Day.
I miss them and I miss that time in my life and this then led me to thinking about other people that I miss. Staying up with the girls to make cookies reminds me of staying up with Albert one night to make lumpia or something for one of our classes last year. And trekking to the capitol reminds me of trekking with him over the bridge to Fuji city in the middle of a winter night and getting midnight ramen. Traveling with Travis made me miss traveling with Sean-kun and his seemingly endless knowledge of Japanese festivals and souvenirs. Walking around Akihabara and going to Mexican for dinner last night reminded me of doing the same thing with Sean, nearly a year ago. Some bands were playing music up on one of the giant snow sculpture stages in Odori Park, and two of them sang songs that Brian from Hawaii used to sing at karaoke.
Remembering all these people that have gone before, and realizing that I'll have to say goodbye to even more this summer is beginning to be really hard. The people that I hang out with most frequently, Rebecca, Pin and the Shimiz crew, Louise, Amir and the Numazu peeps, are all going. Even Travis is still unsure about whether he's going to be here for another year, and if he is, where he'll be and what that might mean for us. He could move even farther away than he already is. He could stay and maybe miserable for another year and the continuous long-distance travel could start to put a strain on our relationship.
But, I decided to re-contract knowing that all of that might be a possibility, that our relationship could end depending on our separate decisions. And I guess that's what it all comes down to and what Pin had to remind me of after Albert and Sean left: They made the decision to go back for their own reasons and ultimately they're happier, and as their friend, I should be happy for them. So, I'll gaman and try, though I can't promise I won't shed a few tears along the way.
The one silver lining in all of this, well apart from getting to live in Japan for one more year and seeing my 15HR graduate, is that if all of my gaijin friends leave, I'll probably hang out with my Japanese friends more and hopefully improve my Japanese. So we'll see.
It was when I was interning at the legislature and living down in Olympia. It was my first time living away from my family, and I was renting a room out of this woman's house, along with two other UW Asian girls, Sunny and Mary. Our landlady was awesome, our rent was really cheap and she pretty much let us have the run of the house. Sunny and Mary were great roommates, we got along on pretty much everything including a requisite love of good cheese, though they did force me from the kitchen the mornings that they made their tuna-fish sandwiches...
My family helped me move my stuff down earlier in the day, and then Sunny arrived in the afternoon. We had a fun time trekking to the capitol in our landlady's sons' old-school snow pants, as we were petite Asian girls and they were tall, tall boys. Mary arrived the next day and by then, there was lots of snow already on the ground. I remember our mornings checking how our outfits looked with one another and trading clothes or shoes when necessary. I also remember staying up late into the night with them making frosting and cookies from scratch to make heart-shaped cookie sandwiches to give out to people all over the campus for Valentine's Day.
I miss them and I miss that time in my life and this then led me to thinking about other people that I miss. Staying up with the girls to make cookies reminds me of staying up with Albert one night to make lumpia or something for one of our classes last year. And trekking to the capitol reminds me of trekking with him over the bridge to Fuji city in the middle of a winter night and getting midnight ramen. Traveling with Travis made me miss traveling with Sean-kun and his seemingly endless knowledge of Japanese festivals and souvenirs. Walking around Akihabara and going to Mexican for dinner last night reminded me of doing the same thing with Sean, nearly a year ago. Some bands were playing music up on one of the giant snow sculpture stages in Odori Park, and two of them sang songs that Brian from Hawaii used to sing at karaoke.
Remembering all these people that have gone before, and realizing that I'll have to say goodbye to even more this summer is beginning to be really hard. The people that I hang out with most frequently, Rebecca, Pin and the Shimiz crew, Louise, Amir and the Numazu peeps, are all going. Even Travis is still unsure about whether he's going to be here for another year, and if he is, where he'll be and what that might mean for us. He could move even farther away than he already is. He could stay and maybe miserable for another year and the continuous long-distance travel could start to put a strain on our relationship.
But, I decided to re-contract knowing that all of that might be a possibility, that our relationship could end depending on our separate decisions. And I guess that's what it all comes down to and what Pin had to remind me of after Albert and Sean left: They made the decision to go back for their own reasons and ultimately they're happier, and as their friend, I should be happy for them. So, I'll gaman and try, though I can't promise I won't shed a few tears along the way.
The one silver lining in all of this, well apart from getting to live in Japan for one more year and seeing my 15HR graduate, is that if all of my gaijin friends leave, I'll probably hang out with my Japanese friends more and hopefully improve my Japanese. So we'll see.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Seattle...Is It Still Home?: Retroactive Post
Oh god, is this really my last day in Japan of the year? Am I really getting on a plane tomorrow and heading back to Seattle? Will I really be home by the end of the week? I'm afraid that the answer to all of those questions is yes.
I don't feel ready at all. At least this year, I got my packing out of the way and the only thing left to do is clean up my house tonight after my private lesson. Physically, I'm in better shape than last year, but emotionally, I'm more of a mess.
I don't feel ready at all. At least this year, I got my packing out of the way and the only thing left to do is clean up my house tonight after my private lesson. Physically, I'm in better shape than last year, but emotionally, I'm more of a mess.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
This Week Gets Even Better...Not: Retroactive Post
So what the hell, is this my punishment for trying to enjoy Christmas? This year is the first when I actually haven't HATED Christmas, where I was actually looking forward to things and God seems to want to remind me that things are not all peachy-keen. First, it was the poor little stray kitten yesterday during lunchtime. Then it was the back-to-back-to-back announcements about one of my teacher's mother-in-laws passing away, one of my vice-principals being in the hospital, and other of my other teacher's fathers passing away...all in two days.
Then, as if to remind me of my powerlessness in certain situations, as I'm leaving one of the tiny little mom-and-pop-run grocery stores on the way home from school, another stray, this one a dog, comes up and tries begging me for food. Unfortunately, I had only bought spinach, eggplant and bamboo...not really anything suitable for a dog. I definitely couldn't take in a nearly full-grown dog, after the kitten earlier in the week, but I have to say, walking away from yet another stray really sucks. It breaks my heart that I can't do more for it.
I guess the reason why I suggest that all of this is pointed directly at me, to remind me to have a crappy time around this time of the year, is that, I've gone nearly a year without running into a stray, and now to have it happen right after another, along with the human situations...I'm nearly giving in and resigning myself to another crappy holiday season. Gah. Santa, all I want for Christmas is some peace of mind...is that too hard to ask?
Then, as if to remind me of my powerlessness in certain situations, as I'm leaving one of the tiny little mom-and-pop-run grocery stores on the way home from school, another stray, this one a dog, comes up and tries begging me for food. Unfortunately, I had only bought spinach, eggplant and bamboo...not really anything suitable for a dog. I definitely couldn't take in a nearly full-grown dog, after the kitten earlier in the week, but I have to say, walking away from yet another stray really sucks. It breaks my heart that I can't do more for it.
I guess the reason why I suggest that all of this is pointed directly at me, to remind me to have a crappy time around this time of the year, is that, I've gone nearly a year without running into a stray, and now to have it happen right after another, along with the human situations...I'm nearly giving in and resigning myself to another crappy holiday season. Gah. Santa, all I want for Christmas is some peace of mind...is that too hard to ask?
So When Does the Ball Drop?: Retroactive Post
This morning during second period, one of my JTEs (a pretty close one, since she is always helping Luther and me with various Japan/school-life issues) left in a hurry from school. I was on my way up to the LL to prep for my third period class, and caught up with her in the hallway. She was upset about something and soon explained the reason why. She had gotten a call from her family and found out that her father just passed away unexpectedly. Now, she is middle-aged, so it's not like her father was very young, but there was apparently no reason to suggest that he was sick or anything. She didn't know the cause of death, so I have no clue either.
This comes on the heels of two announcements during the morning meetings with bad news. The first one on Monday was accompanied by my former JTE/supervisor coming up to the middle of the teachers room, bowing and obviously very upset about something. I couldn't catch what he said, I thought I heard "musume," which is Japanese for daughter, but I wasn't sure what exactly happened. I didn't get a chance to ask about it until the next day, after hearing another disturbing announcement about one of my vice-principals.
This one, I managed to catch the words, "hospital," "sick," and "gone until next week." Actually, I verified with the teacher whose father just passed away, my suspicions that our VP was in the hospital. Our principal said that he couldn't say exactly why she was hospitalized, but that she will be undergoing surgery tomorrow. She also clarified that my other teacher's mother-in-law had passed away, which was he was upset and hence the announcement on Monday.
Obviously, all of this sucks for the people involved. I can't imagine what they are all going through, but I can't help but think about my own situation with my father. Especially after one of my other JTEs and I were talking about what was going on and she asked me to take care of my health...Little does she (or any of the other teachers, except for Luther, for that matter) know (since I haven't mentioned it to anyone), that it's not MY health that I'm worried about.
I've managed to keep thoughts of my dad, his health and his lifespan at bay, since I know that I can't really do anything until I'm home, but all of this is just a bit too familiar. I know that at least, unlike my poor teacher, I do have a heads-up of his health but that doesn't really help. Especially since I keep wondering, when's the ball going to drop and if I'm going to be the next person to have to make an announcement at a morning meeting.
This comes on the heels of two announcements during the morning meetings with bad news. The first one on Monday was accompanied by my former JTE/supervisor coming up to the middle of the teachers room, bowing and obviously very upset about something. I couldn't catch what he said, I thought I heard "musume," which is Japanese for daughter, but I wasn't sure what exactly happened. I didn't get a chance to ask about it until the next day, after hearing another disturbing announcement about one of my vice-principals.
This one, I managed to catch the words, "hospital," "sick," and "gone until next week." Actually, I verified with the teacher whose father just passed away, my suspicions that our VP was in the hospital. Our principal said that he couldn't say exactly why she was hospitalized, but that she will be undergoing surgery tomorrow. She also clarified that my other teacher's mother-in-law had passed away, which was he was upset and hence the announcement on Monday.
Obviously, all of this sucks for the people involved. I can't imagine what they are all going through, but I can't help but think about my own situation with my father. Especially after one of my other JTEs and I were talking about what was going on and she asked me to take care of my health...Little does she (or any of the other teachers, except for Luther, for that matter) know (since I haven't mentioned it to anyone), that it's not MY health that I'm worried about.
I've managed to keep thoughts of my dad, his health and his lifespan at bay, since I know that I can't really do anything until I'm home, but all of this is just a bit too familiar. I know that at least, unlike my poor teacher, I do have a heads-up of his health but that doesn't really help. Especially since I keep wondering, when's the ball going to drop and if I'm going to be the next person to have to make an announcement at a morning meeting.
Monday, April 23, 2007
Paris, Je T'aime: Retroactive Post
Today I hurried home and prepared the different layers for the vegetarian lasagne I was making for tomorrow, so that I could catch the train to Shiz and watch a movie that Albert had told me about. Albert had heard about it from Bradford, who had seen it last week. He told me about it because it was a French movie showing in Shiz city and as such, figured I'd be interested.
I knew nothing about it, so a visit to its Wiki entry and the theater's website was in order. I was pleasantly surprised to find that one of my favorite actresses, Natalie Portman was in it, along with a medley of other actors. So, I decided to catch the 7pm showing, no matter the state of my household. I went and managed to find it fairly easily, sat down and prepared to watch yet another film in French with subtitles I couldn't understand, because this was Japan and not the US. There were points in the movie where I looked to the Japanese for help with the French, but after a while, I forgot about them.
The movie is actually a compilation of 18 short films set in 18 of the 20 arrondissements of Paris, focusing on what else but love in the city of Amour? But not simply love in the fashion of the next Hollywood romantic comedy (or love-com as the Japanese call it), though there was certainly some of that. Rather, it focused on love in its myriad forms, sometimes tragic, sometimes uplifting, sometimes disappointing, joyful, heart-breaking, as complex as a decades-long marriage or as simple as a haircut. And all of this is reflected in the city as well.
Albert is right in telling me that I need to learn as much about France, French and Paris as I can before I go there, in order to avoid the jarring pain of the real Paris as it meets the Paris of my dreams, thoughts and heart. But seeing this movie made me feel like the character in the last story, a fellow American with a terrible accent writing in French that she loves Paris and hopes that it will love her back.
At one point in the movie, I was nearly overwhelmed with a sense of loneliness, felt more keenly perhaps because I had spoken to Travis this morning and had been wishing for some company, especially his, during the movie. But by the end of it, I felt better for having seen it alone. It allowed me to engross myself in the movie, in Paris, that by the time I left the theater, I felt a different kind of culture-shock. With my head swimming with French and thoughts of a foreign country, I had to deal with the reality that I WAS in a foreign country, just not the one I had been looking at.
All of a sudden, I had to remember I was in Japan, not Seattle; that this wasn't my city, my country, my home. But then I realized that while Seattle no longer feels that way and that Japan feels more and more comfortable with the passing months, it's still not quite right. But I ask myself, Will France be any different? Or will I feel the way about France as I do Japan once I move after living here for at least a few years? Will any place ever feel 'Right' again, or is that something I've given up in exchange for the novelty of travel?
I guess we'll see. But for now, Paris, je t'aime.
I knew nothing about it, so a visit to its Wiki entry and the theater's website was in order. I was pleasantly surprised to find that one of my favorite actresses, Natalie Portman was in it, along with a medley of other actors. So, I decided to catch the 7pm showing, no matter the state of my household. I went and managed to find it fairly easily, sat down and prepared to watch yet another film in French with subtitles I couldn't understand, because this was Japan and not the US. There were points in the movie where I looked to the Japanese for help with the French, but after a while, I forgot about them.
The movie is actually a compilation of 18 short films set in 18 of the 20 arrondissements of Paris, focusing on what else but love in the city of Amour? But not simply love in the fashion of the next Hollywood romantic comedy (or love-com as the Japanese call it), though there was certainly some of that. Rather, it focused on love in its myriad forms, sometimes tragic, sometimes uplifting, sometimes disappointing, joyful, heart-breaking, as complex as a decades-long marriage or as simple as a haircut. And all of this is reflected in the city as well.
Albert is right in telling me that I need to learn as much about France, French and Paris as I can before I go there, in order to avoid the jarring pain of the real Paris as it meets the Paris of my dreams, thoughts and heart. But seeing this movie made me feel like the character in the last story, a fellow American with a terrible accent writing in French that she loves Paris and hopes that it will love her back.
At one point in the movie, I was nearly overwhelmed with a sense of loneliness, felt more keenly perhaps because I had spoken to Travis this morning and had been wishing for some company, especially his, during the movie. But by the end of it, I felt better for having seen it alone. It allowed me to engross myself in the movie, in Paris, that by the time I left the theater, I felt a different kind of culture-shock. With my head swimming with French and thoughts of a foreign country, I had to deal with the reality that I WAS in a foreign country, just not the one I had been looking at.
All of a sudden, I had to remember I was in Japan, not Seattle; that this wasn't my city, my country, my home. But then I realized that while Seattle no longer feels that way and that Japan feels more and more comfortable with the passing months, it's still not quite right. But I ask myself, Will France be any different? Or will I feel the way about France as I do Japan once I move after living here for at least a few years? Will any place ever feel 'Right' again, or is that something I've given up in exchange for the novelty of travel?
I guess we'll see. But for now, Paris, je t'aime.
Monday, January 15, 2007
Goodbye Emerald City: Retroactive Post
So I'm back in Japan for the third time in the last year. Every time I've come back, it's been different. This time, I've come home. Not because this necessarily feels more like home than Seattle or Nagoya did, but because it has to be. It's going to be my home for the next year and a half. Before I left for Seattle, that thought really chafed. The thought of being stuck in a tiny little town was so different from living in a big city where everything was new.
Now that I'm back, I realize that it's not as bad as I thought it would be. Decent weather really helps with that. I told a good friend the night after I went out with everyone to Kona Kitchen, that I finally felt like I was ready to go back. I had said my goodbyes and all that was left was my parent's anniversary, packing and the trip back. I'm still trying to feel like I'm ready to BE back, but it gets easier and easier with each passing day.
That said, it surprises me how long ago being in Seattle feels, when it has only been a week. At the same time, it feels like life was just on pause here while I left and that my time in Seattle didn't really happen. Albert was right, it does feel like a dream. I keep trying to go back every once in a while, but it gets harder and harder to remember the details the more I wake up.
Now that I'm back, I realize that it's not as bad as I thought it would be. Decent weather really helps with that. I told a good friend the night after I went out with everyone to Kona Kitchen, that I finally felt like I was ready to go back. I had said my goodbyes and all that was left was my parent's anniversary, packing and the trip back. I'm still trying to feel like I'm ready to BE back, but it gets easier and easier with each passing day.
That said, it surprises me how long ago being in Seattle feels, when it has only been a week. At the same time, it feels like life was just on pause here while I left and that my time in Seattle didn't really happen. Albert was right, it does feel like a dream. I keep trying to go back every once in a while, but it gets harder and harder to remember the details the more I wake up.
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Procrastinator: Retroactive Post
So, it's currently 2:39AM in Japan, and I haven't started packing for my flight back home to Seattle tomorrow afternoon. While my flight doesn't technically leave til 3, I start my day of train-riding at 9 tomorrow morning, which means my last 6 hours left in Japan will be spent trying to clean my house and pack for two weeks. Yay for me.
I don't quite know how I feel about heading home. It didn't hit me until I sent Clifton off to his own flight today, that in about 24 hours, I was going to be in Seattle. I came back into my house and just sat down to try to deal with that. Of course I'm excited to see my family and friends, and to be able to be in the city that I love and grew up in. Not only that, but one of my best friends is going to come with me and I can introduce her to life in the Pacific Northwest. It was having a friend over (Clifton, you're great) that made me realize how much I miss having friends that I related to over more than just the fact that we were all in Japan at the same time. I want to share Japan and this incredibly unique experience with all of you. But we don't always get what we want...
I think that what worries me more is the thought of coming back to this after two weeks. I left work today not really finding that much closure, probably since I was leaving early, before school was offiicially out for winter vacation, but also because I know that it will be crazy to come back the day before school starts up again. Maybe I should have left an extra day to readjust, because if there's ever a time that I'm likely to need readjusting, it'll be then. Readjusting to Shin-kambara after Nagoya or Tokyo is hard enough, readjusting to it after Seattle will be killer. I dunno, maybe I'm just rambling or whining or both, or maybe I should get more sleep, but here are my thoughts on going back right now. Make of it what you will.
I don't quite know how I feel about heading home. It didn't hit me until I sent Clifton off to his own flight today, that in about 24 hours, I was going to be in Seattle. I came back into my house and just sat down to try to deal with that. Of course I'm excited to see my family and friends, and to be able to be in the city that I love and grew up in. Not only that, but one of my best friends is going to come with me and I can introduce her to life in the Pacific Northwest. It was having a friend over (Clifton, you're great) that made me realize how much I miss having friends that I related to over more than just the fact that we were all in Japan at the same time. I want to share Japan and this incredibly unique experience with all of you. But we don't always get what we want...
I think that what worries me more is the thought of coming back to this after two weeks. I left work today not really finding that much closure, probably since I was leaving early, before school was offiicially out for winter vacation, but also because I know that it will be crazy to come back the day before school starts up again. Maybe I should have left an extra day to readjust, because if there's ever a time that I'm likely to need readjusting, it'll be then. Readjusting to Shin-kambara after Nagoya or Tokyo is hard enough, readjusting to it after Seattle will be killer. I dunno, maybe I'm just rambling or whining or both, or maybe I should get more sleep, but here are my thoughts on going back right now. Make of it what you will.
Monday, May 8, 2006
Tadaima!!!: Retroactive Post
Some of you may know that I was going to Kyoto this weekend with my aunt and uncle since it was Golden Week, and everyone gets a few days off for the holidays, which is why I've been out of contact the last few days. We went and it was absolutely amazing. It was so neat to be in another Japanese city. I told my aunt later that for some reason, as we were exiting the shinkansen that we had taken from Nagoya to Kyoto, that I was expecting Kyoto to be very different from Nagoya. The one big difference is that Kyoto reminded me even more of Seattle than Nagoya, because it is hilly unlike Nagoya. But enough about that.
The point that I'm making is that I wanted to tell all of the few who have diligently followed my blogs depicting my various adventures as I've eaten, biked, shopped and sang my way through two months in Japan: Thank you. It's nice that you have taken the time out of your schedules to check up on me and keep in touch. Therefore, you will be the special few to be let in on a secret: SURPRISE! I came home early!
As I sit here typing this blog, I'm currently in the US! It wasn't planned, and completely last-minute. My aunt's work had allowed her to go and I decided that with the number of my relatives that are going to be in Seattle at one time, that I should go while I still have the opportunity, so here I am. However, we missed our flight from Tokyo to Seattle, so we had to catch another one from Tokyo to San Francisco. Now we've got problems with the one from San Fran to Seattle, so I'm waiting. But I'm getting home sometime today.
I miss all of you, but I'll see you soon! The one thing is that you MUST NOT LET MY FAMILY KNOW. I want to surprise them, so please don't call them, if you know their numbers. All right, see ya soon!
The point that I'm making is that I wanted to tell all of the few who have diligently followed my blogs depicting my various adventures as I've eaten, biked, shopped and sang my way through two months in Japan: Thank you. It's nice that you have taken the time out of your schedules to check up on me and keep in touch. Therefore, you will be the special few to be let in on a secret: SURPRISE! I came home early!
As I sit here typing this blog, I'm currently in the US! It wasn't planned, and completely last-minute. My aunt's work had allowed her to go and I decided that with the number of my relatives that are going to be in Seattle at one time, that I should go while I still have the opportunity, so here I am. However, we missed our flight from Tokyo to Seattle, so we had to catch another one from Tokyo to San Francisco. Now we've got problems with the one from San Fran to Seattle, so I'm waiting. But I'm getting home sometime today.
I miss all of you, but I'll see you soon! The one thing is that you MUST NOT LET MY FAMILY KNOW. I want to surprise them, so please don't call them, if you know their numbers. All right, see ya soon!
Wednesday, March 8, 2006
On Being a Foreigner: Retroactive Post
Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I've been having some technical difficulties with myspace. So, since I left off the last time, I had been held up at both the Tokyo Narita airport and the Nagoya, had to take a bus to catch the plane on the tarmac, was stalled by Tokyo snow, couldn't find my luggage in baggage claim, had to go through customs and finally, found my aunt and uncle.
Now that I've been here a few days, I have to tell you guys that I absolutely love it here. Nagoya is not crowded like Tokyo, even downtown Nagoya (Sakae) is about as crowded as downtown Seattle, and it reminds me a lot of Vancouver. It's very clean: there's no litter on the sidewalks; safe: everyone leaves their bicycles (jidensha) on the sidewalk, not locked up at all; and there's a lot of things in English, so I don't get too confused. I've been working on my nihongo and I hope that by the time I leave here, I'll be fluent in it.
As for what I've been up to, you can check out pics from my first three days here: Japan. They go in chronological order. On my second night here, Sa-chan, my cousin's gf, her daughter Riko-chan, who is eleven and I were trying to exchange languages, so I would try to ask what something was, and she'd tell me in nihongo, and then I would tell her what it was in English. It was hella funny, being 22 years old and having an elementary vocabulary. Also, I have to tell you guys, just how jealous I am of all the Japanese girls and guys here. They're all hella stylish and I need one of you to come and visit me here so that I have a shopping buddy, and then I can be kawai (cute) too! Also, here's a link to some pictures of things that I found entertaining while here in Japan: Interesting... Yesterday, I took the chikatetsu (subway) by myself and I even went to a convenience store and the supermarket and bought stuff alone. I pretty much went, Hai, hai, arigatoo gozaimas! But, hey, it got the job done.
Anyway, I'm gonna work on my Japanese before I attempt trying to travel to another city or town, but I really want to go to Kyoto, and see the geishas. Sometime in the next few weeks we're all gonna go to the Nagoya Castle for the sakura viewings. I'll post pics once I go. As for now, I hope that you're all doing well. Leave me a comment if you want anything from here (Jorge, I've already got you down buddy!). Take care!
Now that I've been here a few days, I have to tell you guys that I absolutely love it here. Nagoya is not crowded like Tokyo, even downtown Nagoya (Sakae) is about as crowded as downtown Seattle, and it reminds me a lot of Vancouver. It's very clean: there's no litter on the sidewalks; safe: everyone leaves their bicycles (jidensha) on the sidewalk, not locked up at all; and there's a lot of things in English, so I don't get too confused. I've been working on my nihongo and I hope that by the time I leave here, I'll be fluent in it.
As for what I've been up to, you can check out pics from my first three days here: Japan. They go in chronological order. On my second night here, Sa-chan, my cousin's gf, her daughter Riko-chan, who is eleven and I were trying to exchange languages, so I would try to ask what something was, and she'd tell me in nihongo, and then I would tell her what it was in English. It was hella funny, being 22 years old and having an elementary vocabulary. Also, I have to tell you guys, just how jealous I am of all the Japanese girls and guys here. They're all hella stylish and I need one of you to come and visit me here so that I have a shopping buddy, and then I can be kawai (cute) too! Also, here's a link to some pictures of things that I found entertaining while here in Japan: Interesting... Yesterday, I took the chikatetsu (subway) by myself and I even went to a convenience store and the supermarket and bought stuff alone. I pretty much went, Hai, hai, arigatoo gozaimas! But, hey, it got the job done.
Anyway, I'm gonna work on my Japanese before I attempt trying to travel to another city or town, but I really want to go to Kyoto, and see the geishas. Sometime in the next few weeks we're all gonna go to the Nagoya Castle for the sakura viewings. I'll post pics once I go. As for now, I hope that you're all doing well. Leave me a comment if you want anything from here (Jorge, I've already got you down buddy!). Take care!
Friday, March 3, 2006
Sayonara Seattle: Retroactive Post
I haven't slept for more than four hours in the last 36, so maybe that might account for my jumbled emotional state right now. As I type this, I am hurtling hundreds of feet per minute towards Japan.
I had stayed up until 2 am last night, getting packed for the next three months and then woke up at 6 to continue preparing while my mom and dad left this morning to go to a doctor's appointment for my dad. My plane was due to depart at 12:55pm this afternoon, and I was starting to worry when Pone and my parents still weren't home by 10:30. They get home at last, and we load the two huge check-in luggage, my carry-on luggage, my laptop case, my niece Kyla who's knocked out in her car seat, and her diaper bag, into our van and get on I-5 to SeaTac.
Unfortunately, after merging onto the freeway from the entrance ramp, traffic just stops moving, we hear emergency signals and spot a truck heading to some point up ahead of us. Luckily we get past the accident that had been slowing everything down, and get to the airport by 11:00. However, I was to find that this was merely the first in a series of occurrences that seemed determined to prevent me from getting to Japan.
We unload everything from the car and go to the curbside baggage check-in. There are several people there, but we eventually get the attention of a friendly baggage handler. He then promptly tells me that the weight limit on check-in baggage was not the 70lbs that it normally is if you go to the Philippines, and which my mom and I had argued over about trying to pack everything and still remain under the limit, but rather 50lbs: which left us with 40lbs to redistribute in my already full carry-on luggage. Fortunately, there was a Filipino man also traveling to Japan right behind us in line, and who had also been unaware of the different weight restrictions, but after talking with the Filipino baggage handler and my parents in a Tagalog conversation which I barely understood, I found out that he'd be willing to take on some of my excess packages.
After getting my boarding pass, I head over to my gate, say rushed good-bye to my family and head through the screening process. I get my stuff through pretty quickly, but they tell me that they've just got to look through my rolling carry-on luggage, which I readily agree to. They take out my things and wipe down the inside of the luggage and scan it for stuff. I think nothing of it, until the machine alerts of her an EDT (no idea what that is) hit, which makes her call someone else.
As he looks through a folder of info, she tells me that she's got to go through the purse I had inside. Again, I agree and it's not until she starts pulling stuff out that is covered in something liquid that I realize that something has gone very wrong: the bottle of prescription cough syrup that my doctor had prescribed for me in case I got sick again in Japan, had broken and leaked all of its contents into my purse, covering my umbrella, lotion and other materials. They didn't make a big deal about it once they found out that it was just cough syrup, but that left me with a huge mess to clean up, aided by the roll of paper towels they gave to me, but my Coach purse is ruined, and it sucks even more because that was the ONLY purse I had brought with me.
I get most of it dealt with and head to my gate with the guy, Leo, who's carrying some of my stuff. We make it to the gate, and after waiting for only a short time, find that they're starting to board. It was going through that boarding ramp that started doing it for me. It was when I realized, there's no going back. I get on the plane, make it to my seat, struggle with getting my luggage into the overhead compartment and take my seat next to a Japanese girl who looks to be about my age (we haven't spoken). From there, as more and more people of Japanese descent get on the plane, I realize just how scared I was about going to another country and that I've left my life and everything that I know behind, but I take some deep breaths and calm down. I sorta dozed as we were preparing to get ready, but had to wait through a half hour delay as they had to do something with the water tank. Finally, our plane pulls away from the terminal and we make our slow, bumpy way down the landing strip.
At one point, there were these loud thudding noises coming from below us and I felt a brief flash of fear as I thought about it being a sign that our plane was going to crash on take-off, further helped along as our plane started to slow and then stop. However I was relieved to find that we were stopping because we were waiting for a plane in front of us to start their take-off and then noticed this line of planes behind us all waiting for their chance to take-off, and all of a sudden, instead of being scared, I was excited as my plane's engines fired up and thrust us into the air and towards Japan.
As we cleared the cloud cover and got into the sunlight, I remembered what it was like when I had gone sky-diving and the extremely unnatural sensation of falling fast through the clouds. The feelings that I felt then mirror a lot of the ones that I'm going through now:; fear about what it's actually going to be like; excitement that this is something I've never done before; sadness that no one is with me; disbelief that I'm actually going through with this; but pride as well, that all of my talk about traveling was not just talk, and that I can actually walk that talk.
So, to everyone at home: I love you all but I'm happy I'm doing this. See you in three months.
I had stayed up until 2 am last night, getting packed for the next three months and then woke up at 6 to continue preparing while my mom and dad left this morning to go to a doctor's appointment for my dad. My plane was due to depart at 12:55pm this afternoon, and I was starting to worry when Pone and my parents still weren't home by 10:30. They get home at last, and we load the two huge check-in luggage, my carry-on luggage, my laptop case, my niece Kyla who's knocked out in her car seat, and her diaper bag, into our van and get on I-5 to SeaTac.
Unfortunately, after merging onto the freeway from the entrance ramp, traffic just stops moving, we hear emergency signals and spot a truck heading to some point up ahead of us. Luckily we get past the accident that had been slowing everything down, and get to the airport by 11:00. However, I was to find that this was merely the first in a series of occurrences that seemed determined to prevent me from getting to Japan.
We unload everything from the car and go to the curbside baggage check-in. There are several people there, but we eventually get the attention of a friendly baggage handler. He then promptly tells me that the weight limit on check-in baggage was not the 70lbs that it normally is if you go to the Philippines, and which my mom and I had argued over about trying to pack everything and still remain under the limit, but rather 50lbs: which left us with 40lbs to redistribute in my already full carry-on luggage. Fortunately, there was a Filipino man also traveling to Japan right behind us in line, and who had also been unaware of the different weight restrictions, but after talking with the Filipino baggage handler and my parents in a Tagalog conversation which I barely understood, I found out that he'd be willing to take on some of my excess packages.
After getting my boarding pass, I head over to my gate, say rushed good-bye to my family and head through the screening process. I get my stuff through pretty quickly, but they tell me that they've just got to look through my rolling carry-on luggage, which I readily agree to. They take out my things and wipe down the inside of the luggage and scan it for stuff. I think nothing of it, until the machine alerts of her an EDT (no idea what that is) hit, which makes her call someone else.
As he looks through a folder of info, she tells me that she's got to go through the purse I had inside. Again, I agree and it's not until she starts pulling stuff out that is covered in something liquid that I realize that something has gone very wrong: the bottle of prescription cough syrup that my doctor had prescribed for me in case I got sick again in Japan, had broken and leaked all of its contents into my purse, covering my umbrella, lotion and other materials. They didn't make a big deal about it once they found out that it was just cough syrup, but that left me with a huge mess to clean up, aided by the roll of paper towels they gave to me, but my Coach purse is ruined, and it sucks even more because that was the ONLY purse I had brought with me.
I get most of it dealt with and head to my gate with the guy, Leo, who's carrying some of my stuff. We make it to the gate, and after waiting for only a short time, find that they're starting to board. It was going through that boarding ramp that started doing it for me. It was when I realized, there's no going back. I get on the plane, make it to my seat, struggle with getting my luggage into the overhead compartment and take my seat next to a Japanese girl who looks to be about my age (we haven't spoken). From there, as more and more people of Japanese descent get on the plane, I realize just how scared I was about going to another country and that I've left my life and everything that I know behind, but I take some deep breaths and calm down. I sorta dozed as we were preparing to get ready, but had to wait through a half hour delay as they had to do something with the water tank. Finally, our plane pulls away from the terminal and we make our slow, bumpy way down the landing strip.
At one point, there were these loud thudding noises coming from below us and I felt a brief flash of fear as I thought about it being a sign that our plane was going to crash on take-off, further helped along as our plane started to slow and then stop. However I was relieved to find that we were stopping because we were waiting for a plane in front of us to start their take-off and then noticed this line of planes behind us all waiting for their chance to take-off, and all of a sudden, instead of being scared, I was excited as my plane's engines fired up and thrust us into the air and towards Japan.
As we cleared the cloud cover and got into the sunlight, I remembered what it was like when I had gone sky-diving and the extremely unnatural sensation of falling fast through the clouds. The feelings that I felt then mirror a lot of the ones that I'm going through now:; fear about what it's actually going to be like; excitement that this is something I've never done before; sadness that no one is with me; disbelief that I'm actually going through with this; but pride as well, that all of my talk about traveling was not just talk, and that I can actually walk that talk.
So, to everyone at home: I love you all but I'm happy I'm doing this. See you in three months.
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